It’s All In How You Look At It

Past group coaching client, Ian, describing one of his commissioned paintings.

A Client’s Presentation

This last weekend I drove up to wine country to support one of my past group coaching clients, Ian, a professional illustrator.  Ian was speaking on “The Power of Story in Art.”

As he spoke on symbolism, perspective and sharing a story through art, he showed examples from Leonardo da Vinci, Norman Rockwell, Ernest Hemingway (yes, the writer) as well as examples of his own personal pieces.  The audience enjoyed his presentation so much they asked for an encore.  Ian was flexible and able to pull together a second presentation in a matter of minutes.

It’s an incredible feeling to watch a client succeed.  To soar.

Perspective

Reflecting on Ian’s presentation (the prepared one), I can close my eyes and see the lines he drew on a da Vinci painting to explain perspective.  The perspective draws viewers in and directs their focus.

Let’s take that thought – that perspective directs focus – and apply it to our own lives.

Work Feedback

I am an advocate of the 360-degree employee review.  As an advertising creative, your growth may depend on what not only your Creative Directors think of your work but also how the Account Directors like working with you, how receptive you are to the Planners’ recommendations, how much other creatives like partnering up with you, whether or not clients like you and so on.  Without the different perspectives, you don’t know where to improve, where to focus.

Life Feedback

Outside of work, others’ perspectives can help you see blind spots too.  How does your family perceive you?  What do your friends think are your strengths?  What is your reputation in the community?  What do others constantly wish you would do but you are clueless about?

Why not ask?

Ask your network – your brother, best friend, neighbor, the waitor you see weekly, your kids’ babysitter – what they think about you.

    • What are your best skills?
    • What are your talents?
    • How would they describe your personality?
    • What do they admire about you?
    • How would they like to see you change and grow?
    • What do they think you would really love to try doing?
    • What would they like to say to you but haven’t before?

You can come up with scales for different qualities that are important to you.

For instance, on a scale from 1 to 10 how ______ are you?  Where the blank can be filled with:

    •  Confident
    • Patient
    • Open
    • Fair
    • Accepting
    • Creative
    • Fun
    • Loving
    • Thoughtful
    • Giving
    • Dedicated

But can you really ask for perspective?

Yes.  But asking people you know to tell you how they view you can seem scary.  So the question becomes: Which is stronger – your desire to grow and be better OR your fear?  You can always ask via e-mail or ask them to submit their thoughts in a sealed envelope to a third party (e.g., your significant other, a friend, your mailbox, your doorstep).

People who are willing to give you honest feedback, will; those who aren’t, won’t.  There’s no harm in asking.  And you’ll never know unless you ask.

Imagine if you found out something that could save you time, energy, money, etc.  Maybe your friends would rather connect over Skype than at fancy dinners.  Maybe you find out that your nephew really wants to spend one afternoon a month with you.  Maybe it’s revealed that the many hours you work are causing your relationships to suffer.  Maybe whatever you’re doing isn’t working and you don’t even know it.  Maybe whatever you’re doing is working but you’re too close to it to see the effects.

Maybe this exercise is exactly what you need to create a more satisfying life.

Use perspective to guide your focus.

 

Ask For What You Want

Time and time again I’ve heard clients, colleagues, friends and even strangers wish for the most achievable of things.

“I wish I had more money.”

“If only I had a steady stream of income from my freelance business…”

“I wish I had an extra week vacation.”

“Working this much would be tolerable if I sat near a window.”

“I don’t know what to do next because I don’t know where that company is in the hiring process.”

“I wish I knew how So-and-So did it, because then I could be successful like that.”

“I wish I knew what So-and-So had to get that promotion over me.”

“Why hasn’t that person given me what he or she should know I really want?”

Can you relate to any of these?  What do you wish for?

How can you get what you want?

As creatives we often think so far outside the box that we forget the box itself.  What if it doesn’t take the next big idea or an elaborate plan, sweat and hard work to get what you want?  What if all you need to do is ask?  Ask for what you want.

If you want more money, ask for it.  Ask your boss for a bonus or a raise.  Ask your freelance clients for more money, more projects and more referrals.

Ask to sit by the window all day or even part of the day.

Call the company you applied to two weeks ago and ask where they are in the hiring process.  Then ask that company for any next steps you can take.

Ask So-and-So what they did to get where they are.  Ask your boss what So-and-So had to get promoted over you and what you can do to be the promoted person next time.

And please ask – that person that hasn’t given you what he or she should know you want – for what you want!

What if others should know what you want?

Many times other people simply don’t know what we want, what we’re wishing for, what will make us happy.  To put it bluntly – they are too busy wishing for themselves and doing everything else that they have going on in their lives to stop and consider what you may be wishing for.  Or, worse yet, they may assume you are wishing for the same thing that they want.

For instance, I’ve seen it happen all-too-often, advertising creatives reach a certain point in their career where they don’t care as much about the money as they do their vacation time.  Yet, employee review after employee review they end up unsatisfied because more money was thrown at them instead of that time off that they so desperately desire.  And why?  Because they haven’t made it clear to the decision-makers that they value vacation time the most.  They don’t get what they want because they never asked for it.

What happens when you ask for what you want?

When working with my clients one-on-one, we create a clear plan on how to best ask for what they want so not only do they have the confidence to ask but also 9 times out of 10 they get what they want.  (There are best practices when asking and things you can do to improve your odds of getting what you want.)

Can you guess what the #1 response is when my clients ask for something from someone?  What do you think that someone says?

“Oh, you could have had that sooner if you’d only asked.”

Imagine you had what you are wishing for.   Now, go ask for it.

If you’d like to share, please post a comment.